This is the story of our opening to Joy, our 10 month old baby girl.
We have two biological children. Our "plan" was only to have two children. When we miscarried twins, the idea of a bigger family entered our minds and hearts. After the birth of our daughter, we knew that we were not complete as a family. There was room in our hearts for more. God had begun to work in us.
I had always had a desire to adopt. In fact I can't remember I time that I didn't dream about my little adopted daughter. As we grew or own family, adoption took a back seat. For many years I didn't really consider it. As our children for older, I began to ponder the idea again. The desire grew and became too strong to ignore. It took a bit longer for my husband to come around. We took in a girl from Belarus for a month a few years ago. She was 9 and came to the U.S. for much needed health care. We realized very quickly that we would have kept her in a heart beat. It took a few years, but eventually after much prayer, he came to the conclusion that adoption was the right choice for our family.
We started the process in January of 2013. At the time we were unsure whether we should pursue an international or domestic adoption. The process was daunting and difficult. The paperwork was overwhelming at times. We hated feeling like we were "choosing" a child. Deciding what scenarios we were willing to be considered for was a difficult, soul searching process. We prayed a lot. When the choice of having an open or closed adoption was presented, we honestly had no idea how we felt about either one. I read a lot and did my research. It was a scary thought to think of being so open to the birth parents, but God was still doing a work on us.
That summer I spent 3 weeks counseling at two teen camps. It became very clear that God had called me to minister to this age group, and that I had a heart for these hurting youths. I knew then that an open adoption with a teen mom was what I was being drawn to. My husband and I agreed that this was what we thought God was leading us into. Up until this point we had not seen one adoption situation that seemed right for our family. We had become discouraged.
I remember that Monday night in August. We had never prayed and asked the Lord for an open adoption, so on this particular night we did just that. We prayed specifically, requesting a teen mom who we could have a lot of contact with and minister to. Tuesday night we did the same. On Wednesday morning we were greeted with the email that would forever change our lives. It was the one, and we both knew it. A teen mom was looking for an extremely open adoption. She wanted weekly visits and a close relationship with the adoptive family. We were elated!
A few weeks later we were matched with the mom. We developed a bond instantly. We spent time together before our daughter was born and began to love this young woman. We even named our daughter together. It was the first name we suggested that just happened to be the name she had chosen two years prior for her daughter! Our whole family was there at the hospital when she was born. I was able to be in the delivery room the entire time. The birth mom and I often reminisce about that day, as it holds a special place in both of our hearts. Something happened in that room that changed us both. We are now connected by a deep bond and through our beautiful baby girl.
We see each other often, at least once weekly. She is just as much a part of our family as our adopted daughter. We have worked through some pretty tough things together. Our bond continues to grow and we are so excited for the future. Our children love the birth family just as much and are already asking to adopt another sibling.
When we agreed to an open adoption, we had no idea what it would look like. We could not have imagined the blessings that would come from opening our hearts up to not only a child, but to her birth family as well. We now have a blended family who loves this little girl so much. She is thriving and happy and I have no doubt it is because she is loved so much! It is only fitting that her name means " opening to joy ." We are such huge supporters of adoption, and encourage open adoption for those who feel called to it.
What to Expect Adoption would like to thank this family for sharing there story of joy with us. It is a great example of how open lines of communication came make an open adoption an amazing thing. This family also has a blog if you would like to read more it is http://openingtojoy.blogspot.com.
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